What is bullying?

The concept of bullying goes back all the way to the days of the one room school house. For a long time, bullying has been seen as a “rite of passage” or “character building.” Today, medical professionals, educators and parents know that bullying is much more serious than that and can lead to more severe long term problems for individuals and communities.

Bullying is generally considered an imbalance of power where one person is using that power to intentionally cause harm to another individual. These actions are done repeatedly over time.

Bullying can take on many forms:

Verbal – verbal bullying can be in the form of insults, name calling or teasing.
Physical – punching, kicking, pushing or shoving are examples of physical bullying.
Psychological – includes spreading rumors, threatening to bully people who befriend the victim, social intimidation or isolation.
Cyberbullying – using the internet, text messaging, email or other digital forms to bully someone.
Sexual – unwanted joke or comments about sexual body parts or orientation. Inappropriate touching.

Being bullied can affect a person in many different ways. If you have been bullied, know that it is not your fault! You do not deserve to be treated that way. There are resources available and people who are willing to help!

Why do people bully?

There are all kinds ofreasons why young people bullyothers.When people are asked why they bully, some said:

Because they see others doing it
Because they thought that was what they had to do to hang out with the right crowd
Because it made them feel stronger, smarter, or better than the person they were bullying
Because they think that it was the best way for them to keep others from bullying them

Whatever the reason, bullying is something we all need to think about. Whether we’ve done it ourselves … or whether friends or other people we know are doing it … we all need to recognize that bullying has a terrible effect on everyone. It may not be happening to you today, but it could tomorrow. Working together, we can make the lives of other people better.

How do bullies choose their victims?

Anyone can get bullied. Kids can be bullied just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes the exact things that can make you accepted in one place can make you a victim of bullying in another. Kids who are popular, smarter or attractive can be victims of bullying; but bullies also pick on kids who look easy to hurt.

Bullies generally look for:

Anyone who they think is different – whether it’s their looks, weight, accent, clothing or interests.

Kids with disabilities are sometimes targets.

Kids who are small or young and not as able to defend themselves.

Popular targets are:

Children who get upset or cry easily

Kids who are not athletic or do well in gym

Anyone who struggles being around people or is shy can also be targets

What can you do?

1. Tell them to stop.

Be confident and believe in yourself. Speak with authority. Let them know that the behavior is not appreciated.

2. Avoid the bully.

When possible, avoid places that bullies tend to congregate.
Use the buddy system.

3. Walk away.

Don’t let them get to you! If you can, walk away from them. Don’t let them have the satisfaction of picking on you!

4. Protect yourself.

Violence is never advocated, but, sometimes they won’t let you walk away. If you are being physically hurt, defend yourself and get away.

5. Talk to a trusted adult.

Talking to a trusted adult can help you figure out ways to solve the problem.

6. Document the incident.

As soon as you can, write down the details surrounding the incident. Where was it? What did they do? When did it happen? Who was involved? Who did you notify?

7. Report the incident.

You need to let a parent know about the bullying. If the incident happened on school property or school functions, notify your teacher and principal as well.

What can you do if you see someone being bullied?

Stand up! Bystanders have the power to drastically reduce the incidents of bullying in their schools! Bystanders are important because

Bullying most often happens in front of other kids
Bullying rarely happens when adults are watching
Bullies like an audience and want their approval. If those watching disapprove, bullies can be discouraged from continuing

Remember, if you see someone being bullied, you have the power to stop it!

Take a stand and do not join in.
Support the person that is being bullied.
Talk to a trusted adult about the incident.

You will be a hero to the person that you helped and, you just may meet a new a best friend!

Be a leader! Help support anti-bullying efforts in your school and community. Younger kids look up to older kids. Help teach them that bullying is not OK and stop bullying before it begins. Download the free: